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Grieving and Letting Go
When thinking about grieving I always thought about very painful but rare events – like death, sickness or loss of love – that we needed to get over with in order to move on.
Since I started my journey into self-healing I started realising that this process is a continuous process, letting go our disappointment of how we wanted the day to be, grieving our plans that turned upside down, grieving what we wanted our kebab to taste like or our next hug to feel like. Grieving who we thought we were and that was just an illusion, grieving what we wanted the other ones to be and that turned out to be illusions as well.
This is important because our ability to grieve and move on is what allows us to live in the moment, to accept whatever comes our way with an open heart and no hard feelings. A well developed ability to grieve is contributing big time to our ability to have a soft, flexible and open heart towards life.
Insight meditation is a way to develop this ability. As practice time increased, the more I started facing all the things I was unhappy about – what a legion of things – and facing them out of the core of peace that meditation provides allowed me to see – over and over and over again – how unreasonable and stubborn I am towards what I want or what I think should be or what I think others should be. Letting go of the attachments that all those judgements of value and preferences are is grieving. Letting go the shoulds, the wants, the oughtas but also who we think we are and where we think life should bring us.
This process sets us free, it allows us to live the present moment without trying to control it and this is real freedom.
A side note about depression. More often than not, depression is grieving. And a depression that is cut short by medication and without psychological support is an opportunity that is cut short and an opportunity to heal that is denied from ourself.
Finally, if you want to see part of my experience, have a look at Grieving my Mom’s Death.
So let go and be happy!