Small Annoyances – How to Deal with Them?

Small Annoyances

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Small Annoyances – How to Deal with Them?

Big annoyances rot our joy of life. So we think at least. We actually tend to deal with big annoyances and jump into action to do something about them. With small annoyances we procrastinate, ponder whether it’s worthwhile to do anything, constantly run the thoughts as background noise in our minds.

When our mind is filled with noise we can’t enjoy the present moment which is filled with joy and this is the beginning of the end of happiness.

I had a Kidney Stone

Yeah I know. That is not usually a good example for small annoyances but it actually was for me. I had two mornings two hours of kidney contractions which were uncomfortable but not that painful. Then for the next two weeks came the small annoyances phase. Every single second the need to pee. At every peeing the impression of something scratching in my urethra (was most probably in the ureter but it’s difficult to tell). So yeah that were constant small annoyances.

My Last Episode of experiencing Small Annoyances

The last time I had this kind of annoying and constantly nagging feeling was when I stupidly damaged my gums. I used a way to hard toothbrush for a year and obviously my gums retracted. The roots of my tooth got exposed and this meant pain when drinking too warm or too cold and a constant feeling of something poking in your teeth. My mood was horrendous. I turned into a constantly annoyed and irritable piece of goo. Since it was when I was depressed I didn’t do anything about it for months so I was a pain in the crack for all those months. As a side note: go to the hygienist and ask them to lacker your roots. It takes 15 minutes and makes a world of a difference.

What was different with my Kidney Stone?

Well no I didn’t learn anything about anything since my last experience so I didn’t go to the doctor. As an excuse I would say that what the doctor would have told me is to go back home and drink a lot in an attempt at passing it without medical intervention so I actually helped my wallet but well… excuses you know…

The difference is that I’m a bit more mindful than 2 years ago with the gum trouble. Instead of entering into the annoyance, making it an “I am annoyed, it’s so unfair, I want it to stop” constant discussion, I watched the body feeling, smiled (ok smirked) at it and let it go. No constant discussion with myself about wanting the annoyance to stop – hell dude you didn’t go to the doctor so stop whining and live with it – and just doing the practical steps to get it out. Again a side note: I took lemon juice, olive oil, vinegar, magnesium and loads of water during the process. Pinching my end and letting pressure build to dilate the urethra (sorry girls). I don’t know if it helped but I didn’t have the excruciating pain people mention. Thanks for this article on passing kidney stones in all case.

So back to Mindfulness

So back to mindfulness: what mindfulness teaches you progressively is to deal with life without getting into self-pity. A pain is rarely something unbearable. Our upfront lost battle about WANTING it to frikking GO AWAY is what is unbearable. We well know it won’t just by the power of our thoughts but we still engage. We can better deal with pain or annoyance by just seeing it, accepting it. This let’s us realize at the same time that the beauty of a smile, the sweetness of gardening or the pleasure of eating is still there. It’s there alongside the negative feeling. You can experience it unblemished by the annoyance.

Conclusion

I recommend reading  the book After the Ecstasy, the Laundry by Jack Kornfield to see how to bring back mindfulness into everyday life. Let go of negative stories around your annoyances they won’t solve the problem. They will just prevent you from seeing what is still nice in your life which is a pity.

Enjoy letting go!

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Walter

Founder at healing.ly
Spent years in the business world, now looking a bit more at myself and why I'm here and where I want to go. This blog shares my experience.

Comments

  1. thegirlthatdreamsawake

    I was looking for suggestions on book to read and the one you suggested looks very interesting.. I am not one to winge about little annoyances but sometimes i do i yes instead of looking for the solution i just feel sorry for myself. I think most people do actually no? 🙂 Very nice read 🙂

    Reply
  2. fionarhodes

    Interesting post and thanks for the book recommendation, I will check it out. Every day I try to not get annoyed by little things and to put them into perspective. Thinking of how gracefully other people deal with trauma and problems MUCH larger than those I have ever had really helps!

    Reply
    1. Walter

      Trying to feel differently from how we feel is a sure way to reinforce those feelings. The way to go is to see them fully as they are, understand where they come from, then decide to act or not and finally let them go. They will come again and again but finally will recede. Feelings are carrying messages and should be considered just as that.

      Reply
  3. Tara Giroud

    I really think that’s true, that constant nagging of something that’s bothering but it’s not big enough (so you think) to make time to find a root of the problem and resolution. I have been wanting to read something of Jack Kornfield after I saw him speak on Oprah Soul Sunday a couple of years ago. I’ll have to put this on my list. Thank you!

    Reply
  4. Johanna

    Thanks for this thoughtful post, Walter. I agree with just not letting these things niggle on your nerves like mad, but there is then also the risk that you end up with seventy small niggly things that you are just not quite dealing with, and then your general quality of life can slowly start to reduce too… it’s a fine balance!

    Reply
    1. Walter

      Dealing with them is the key but we often think that dealing with them means parking them. Dealing with them means staying with them. Seeing them. Deciding to act or not to act. When we do that we don’t ignore their message but take it into account and they recede.

      Reply
  5. ClaireD

    I think we often underestimate how those small physical “annoyances” – minor pain or injuries, tiredness, etc – can really have a big affect on our mood and how we deal with other stuff in life at that time. Certainly worth acknowledging and thinking about how to deal with it – don’t put it off: sort it out asap and feel better. Great post!

    Reply
    1. Walter

      I’m trying with this blog to give hope to people about our ability to be happy. I try to show that I’m not living in a perfect world of bliss but that I can be happy sometimes despite the circumstances. Thanks for the compliment.

      Reply
    1. healingly

      Yes the harder the experience the more difficult to stay mindful with it but whatever the level of pain if we enter into the inner story then we reinforce the pain big time.

      Reply

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